


In good times, in icy times

by plavkovie



Series: In good times, in icy times [1]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types, Thorki - Fandom, Thunderfrost - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Asgard, Brothers, First Night, Frost Giants - Freeform, Jotun problem, Jotunheim, M/M, Oral Sex, Thorki - Freeform, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-14 06:17:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2181129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plavkovie/pseuds/plavkovie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's not like that. Loki... I am here. You have me. You're not alone." he smiled slightly and stroked his shoulder. Loki didn't look at him. Just took his hand carefully away from his shoulder.<br/>"And this hurts me the most, Thor." his gaze shot to Thor reproachfully.<br/>"You'll always be with me.. But regardless of your presence, I'll always be alone."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You never will be with me

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter from five.
> 
> EDIT: This is one of my old stories, my writing has changed a lot and I think to much better ways, so feel free to check out my newer works. Cheers ♥

"Icy afterglows, icy afterglows..." Loki whispered quickly from his restless sleep. He was aching, and he couldn't open his eyes to realize, it wasn't real. No one heard his cries, through which he lamented, in the world of his dreams.  
"Icy afterglows, icy afterglows..." he repeated, suddenly he sat up with one sharp gasp and stared at the window. So scared, so alone. His gaze watched the stars, but the stars were silent, without a will to help him. A tear fell down his pale cheek, pale as the faceless moon. He wiped it off immediately, as if the realization of his tears woke him up from helplessness. He closed his mouth, and tried to calm down his trembling lips.  
Shadows lurked in the dark corners of his bedroom. Shadows of fear and precariousness. Once again, the God of mischief, felt like an abandoned child. Once again, he missed his moron brother. He hated it, but it was true. He missed those times when he sneaked into the chambers of the crown prince, under his red blanket to feel safe with his big brother, when they both were innocent children...  
It was strange, but sometimes things from his past would return to him. Blue ghosts of times past, and each time he couldn't remember whether those ghosts were real, memory or just olden dreams... Or nightmares. The young God shook his head, trying to get rid of feelings and worries. He was too exhausted. He lay back, wanting to sleep, but green eyes stared at shadows for long moments, until sunrays destroyed them.

 

****************************************

 

Loki sat in the stone niche which was overgrown by lilac. He held book in hand, leaning against stone wall. Thor with Fandral trained at the distance. The crown prince was glad that his little brother was watching, but in reality Loki's eyes were closed.  
He was falling asleep. There were no shadows, or ghosts and the God of thunder was near. It made him feel safe. There was no fear. Loki could relax, he was drifting deeper and deeper into sleep, when he suddenly felt ice on his cheek and in his ears, there was an echoing unpleasant noise, shattering ice. He jerked, quickly opening his bright green eyes.  
"Loki.. Do you hear me?" the deep voice of an older God made him look up at the sparkling face before him. Thor stood in front of him, smiling kindly... As always. Loki gazed at him and blinked, trying to open tired eyes he yawned.  
"Are you sleeping, brother?" Thor was surprised. How could Loki sleep with a book in hand?  
"Ehm, I just took a little nap." he gripped the book more firmly, but he was trying to be calm.  
"Is something wrong?" Thor frowned.  
"Everything is absolutely alright, bro..." Loki didn't finish the sentence, he passed out for a second. In that moment he saw blue rocks. Everything was suddenly so cold... When he opened his eyes, he was falling forward and saw Thor kneeling before him, to catch him. Strong hands saved him from falling and stroked his shoulders soothingly.  
"Loki!" the thunderer shook him, wanting to wake him up, the younger God seemed a little dazed.  
"I..." he began to speak, but frowned when he realized Thor's hands were at his shoulders. He pulled away from the God of thunder, sighing.  
"You had those dreams again, didn't you?" he asked gently, worry present in his voice, he took Loki's hand. God of mischief looked down and nodded reluctantly.  
"You should go to mother." Thor proposed.  
"No!" Loki glared at him.  
"Thor, no, please. I don't want to bother her. Last time I had these dreams, was nine years ago. And she was so happy when they disappeared... We both are men. I don't want my mother to watch over me and solve my problems." he squeezed the big hand, Thor looked into suffering emeralds.  
"Alright. Then I'll be the one to watch over you." he said determinedly and stood up.  
"I'm going to sleep with you. I don't want you to feel you are alone." the blonde smiled beautifully.  
"You don't have to, I can face it alone. I can fight it. It'll pass eventually." Loki tried to smile.  
"Loki," the thunderer captured the emerald eyes, in his blue ocean.  
"You don't have to face it alone, little brother. I will always fight by your side... You know, as long as you will need me, I'll be here." Thor hugged him, and Loki's surprised expression softened immediately. When the older brother released him, their eyes were smiling at each other.  
"Hey! I don't know what you're doing, but you should know that I'm waiting!" Fandral shouted at Thor. He laughed and winked at Loki, walking to waiting swordsman. Loki shook his head with a slight smile, leaning back against grey stones, inhaling the beautiful scent of lilac.  
Thor looked back to Loki, seeing his face and the falling lilac around him, it was almost as if the lilac had been framing him in his own halo of magnificence. Loki's beautiful pale face. So fragile and calm. Sleeping. His eyelids hiding a dream, his eyelashes emphasizing his subtlety. And those lips...! Perfectly shaped lips, their sweet corners can smile in such wonderful, mysterious and seductive curve. And raven hair, blacker than midnight... Thor was stunned. Stunned again as so many times before, since the moment when it stopped bothering him that they are brothers. Yes, he doesn't care anymore. All that was important was that he loved Loki. And honestly, it was the only thing he knew for sure in his whole life. It's a shame that Loki even doesn't know. But maybe, it is better...

 

***************************

 

Loki's chambers were illuminated by the faint light of the fireplace off to the corner of the room. Thor hadn't slept yet. The big window was wide opened and he was enjoying the slight summer breeze, caressing his bare chest. He wore just grey pants, comfortable for sleep. He lay on Loki's huge bed with a green canopy. His brother was sleeping next to him, covered by a dark green blanket with golden edges. He was lying on his side, turned to Thor. One hand under his head, the other under his pillow. Sleeping...  
The thunderer watched him, smiling. He was so beautiful. He looked so innocent and defenseless. Unceasing need to protect him was growing in Thor, every second. The wild dance of flames in the fireplace gave twinkling light over his brothers pale face, making it glowing with bright life. His pure white hand was looked as though it was carved from marble. A masterpiece was lying next to the God of thunder.  
The younger God was breathing calmly, quietly. It almost made tears appear in Thor's eyes. He felt such gratitude for his brother. For his presence, for his precious love, even though it wasn't exactly the kind of love the Thunderer was craving for. But he was with him. His brother. His life. Forever and ever... Thor was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice Loki murmuring something in his sleep.  
"Icy afterglows..." he was whispering so quietly Thor had to lean in close to hear.  
"Icy afterglows..." he repeated one more time and then just breathed quietly.  
Thor, still with his face so close to Loki's, he was savoring that sight. He could look at the God of mischief for whole eternity. Loki's lips fell half open as he whined, almost inaudibly. Thor couldn't help the thoughts that flooded him, at that sight... He would love to know what those splendid lips taste like, his brothers beautfuil lips. If they are as tasty as they look. He smirked. He was sure they are soft as a touch of paradise, he thought and lay on his back, couldn't stop smiling.  
"Gate..." Loki said softly. Thor looked at him seeing Loki still sleeping.  
"Gate...!" he sobbed a little louder, frowning. Thor lay on his side and supported his head with his hand, looking at his brother, beginning to shake Loki's shoulder gently.  
"Loki." he tried to wake him up.  
"Giants and that gate!" the God of mischief sobbed and Thor sat up worried. He shook him harder.  
"Wake up, Loki!"  
"That gate!" Loki cried, scaring Thor who tried to wake him once more.  
"Loki!!!" he shouted and Loki sat up sharply, he almost hit Thor and with guttural roar of heart breaking pain, he cried out loudly "Gate of Helheim!!!"  
The younger God stared at the window, still dazed and trembling. Closing his eyes as he passed out, he was falling backward, but Thor caught him, bringing him into his mighty arms.  
"Loki!" he shook him. "Loki!" he shouted and Loki jerked up, eyes wide open. Emeralds staring into the infinite stormy ocean of Thor's eyes.  
"Oh, Loki," Thor sighed with relief and hugged his brother tightly.  
"I was worried of you." he stroked black hair. Loki frowned, thinking Thor was overreacting a little bit , but Thunderer didn't notice. As much as he didn't want such treatment, deep inside he needed strong arms around his body to feel safe. Thor was his weakness. And the God of mischief hated when he was weak. Eventually, the Thunderer released him smiling at him.  
"What did you dream, Loki?" he still held his shoulders, smiling encouragingly. Loki sighed.  
"I saw a gate. The Gate of Helheim... I was... alone..." he frowned looking away, taking care to not let Thor see.  
"Everything is alright now." smiled Thor soothingly. "It was just a dream."  
"No..." Loki said quietly, but the strong smile of the crown prince disappeared.  
"It wasn't just a dream. It was a nightmare which still lasts when I open my eyes. Because I am alone. So terribly alone that I see shadows and ghosts as my only companions, even when the sun should destroy them with its rays." he spoke, constantly frowning, disgusted.  
"Even when all Asgard is around me. I am alone."  
Thor's expression was grieved, watching his little brother revealing his pain. Loki is a great liar, he always was. It made this moment even more precious. Every spilled lament of his soul was precious.  
"It's not like that. Loki... I am here. You have me. You're not alone." he smiled slightly and stroked his shoulder. Loki didn't look at him. Just took his hand carefully away from his shoulder.  
"And this hurts me the most, Thor." his gaze shot to Thor reproachfully.  
"You'll always be with me.. But regardless of your presence, I'll always be alone." he paused for a while, just for little while but the upsetting silence, was waiting for explanation. Loki was quiet, trying to figure out whether it was a good idea to explain what he said, but his mind couldn't give him the answer. Eventually, he sighed and spoke.  
"You will be with me... But you never will be WITH me." Loki was frowning, immediately regretting he said it, even though he thought Thor wouldn't understand what he meant. But the Thunderer just smiled empathetically.  
"Loki," he said in such gentle tone that it made Loki freeze.  
"I am with you more than you think." he took his hands from his lap, and pulled closer so they both were on their knees. He hugged him. It was such a strong embrace. Embrace in which both of them wanted to show how much they needed each other. Loki's heart was beating fast, his body shaking slightly. He wanted his brother. But at the same time, he was afraid it wouldn't happen, as much as he was afraid it would happen. Thor loosened his grip, and they were leaning against each other with their foreheads. They felt the hot breath of each other. The breath a little louder than normal. Breath a little more desirous than allowed, in their relationship. They felt each other at their lips. They were afraid to let each other know, but at the same time, they were screaming at each other to accept this sweet challenge. Suddenly, Thor leaned slowly, horribly slowly to Loki's lips that were already opened in anticipation.  
"Thor.." Loki whispered, soft lips of other the God were brushing against his.  
"What are you doing...?" he asked with tremulous a voice.  
"I love you." was the simple answer from the God of thunder. The honest answer, echoing in Loki's heart over and over again. Sharp and happy gasp of younger brother filled his lungs and shivered as his chest touched Thor's. An intoxicating scent of his breath caressed Thor's lips with its heat.  
A second after, his lips pressed against the softest lips Thunderer has ever kissed. Loki pulled him closer to himself and their lips were touching so tenderly and carefully... So slowly and tremulously until they found out they love it.  
Thor gasped surprised as Loki put his tongue inside his mouth. He began kiss him more passionately. He wasn't able to think that Loki wanted him in the same way. He wasn't able to express how happy he was that he was finally, after all those years, feeling the wetness of his brother's mouth. Oh, yes... His lips are even sweeter than the touch of paradise.  
Long fingers of the younger God grabbed golden mane of his brother and Thor pulled him as close as possible immediately, wanting to feel his body. Loki felt how hard Thor already was. He moaned directly into the mouth of the God of thunder. The moaning was driving Thor crazy. Never before he had heard so much pleasure, so much desire in that silky voice.  
Thor squeezed his ass, pressing him against his body, their cocks rubbing together. It stole another loud moan from Loki.  
"You are so sensitive.." marveled Thor complacently, helping Loki to undress his shirt. Loki smirked. He was glad other the God liked it. His lips slid to Thor's neck.  
"Loki!" he moaned and it just provoked Loki to suck harder, moan louder. To hear his name spoken with such flame and desire, it caused strong need in his groin. Graceful hands traveled over the strong body and explored each manly muscle. He wanted to map, every magnificent wonder of that strong body.  
Thor's lips sucked on the pale neck and his hand stroked his brother's back, smooth and pale like ivory. Thick fingers slid under the edge of green pants, petting soft skin. It was when Loki tortured his brother's nipple under his tongue and he gasped and bit pink nub. The Thunderer could only exclaim Loki's name, savoring that sound in his mouth. His chest was lifting sharply, and in his eyes raged a stormy ocean. Loki pushed him gently so Thor fell on his back, watching other the God in awe as he knelt between his legs. He leaned over him, putting a wet trail down from his neck to his belly, moistening every bit of his juicy skin. It was then he began to rub Thor's big cock. He smirked smugly, feeling Thor's moaning and his throbbing erection, ready for Loki's mouth. He pulled down grey pants throwing them somewhere onto the floor, looking at the Thunderer's face, full of lust.  
"Touch me, Loki." he barely murmured and he was already in Loki's eager mouth.  
"Fuck! Uhmm!!" his back arched with the strongest pleasure.  
The God of mischief licked along the amazing length of his brother, his tongue swirling around the head of his cock. Then he sat up, just stroking the big member with his hand, savoring this sight. Gasping and moaning, the God of thunder at his mercy.  
"Loki... I want to take you." Thor growled lustfully. Sitting up Loki gasped surprised, chuckling slightly as he lay on his back, Thor on top.  
"I'm all yours. Fuck me big brother." long fingers caressed his brother's lips, awakening an even stronger storm in the ocean eyes. Thor soaked into the emerald eyes, capturing him in his gaze while his wet fingers entered Loki's tight sweet hole.  
"Thor..!" he whined, squirming under the skillful God. Thick fingers fucked him gently for a little while, but Thor wasn't patient. It didn't take long and fingers were replaced by a big cock, wet from pre-cum. The younger God gasped as he felt a hard tip stretching his tight body, his nails scratching Thor's back.  
"Gods, you're so tight!" the Thunderer moaned, savoring all sensations that gave him this new connection. His hips moved and soon, he was thrusting into his whining little brother hard and without mercy.  
"THOR!" it was the only whimper that was clear, and it was shining like a lighthouse for every lost gasp and groan, calling them to strong and common climax which they reached together. They cried out together.  
Thor came in his brother, his lover. Trembling, Loki was hugging him, listening to their breathing. The God of thunder rested his head on Loki's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was so soothing... They relaxed.  
"Thor?"  
The Thunderer looked at his love, smiling kindly.  
"Say it again." a marble hand caressed Thor's golden mane.  
"Say what?" he smirked curiously.  
"That you are with me." Loki said, his longing gaze serious. He was so hopefully, he wanted Thor to mean it.  
"I'm with you Loki. I love you. I'll always be with you." he kissed him and shifted a little.  
"Ahn!" Loki's body immediately responded, feeling his brother so deep inside.  
"I love you, Thunderer." he smiled and then they entered the garden of delights over and over again, until the sun arose and they fell asleep, their bodies intertwined.


	2. There, where Thor is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki will find out they are not brothers.  
> Thor have to bring him home.  
> Where is home...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little bit of drama

Loki was the first who opened his eyes. Lazily and sleepily he watched green canopy when suddenly, all memories from yesterday night returned to him in one moment. Beautiful memories... Finally happy ones. The happiest memories in his life... Without solitude.  
His smile widened and tensed, green blanket sliding down to his belly. He sighed happily and stared at the sky. Rays of dying sunlight went through the window filling the bedroom. It was then when he heard soft snoring. He looked there and there saw the golden god sleeping next to him. He lay on his belly with messy blonde curls falling over his face. The God of mischief smiled brightly. He shone more than the morning sun. He felt such a big wave of happiness in his belly that he had to scream. He put a hand on his mouth quickly though, he didn't want to wake his brother. He just giggled and rolled over on his belly, resting his head on his hand. He watched the sleeping Thor, his sleeping beauty. Now mighty Thor looked so defenseless to him. As he was an innocent child. Just like when Loki was trying hard to wake him up to school because Thor never wanted to wake up so early.  
The younger god leaned to him and kissed his forehead, pulling messy hair aside. Thor frowned and before he opened eyes, he yawned loudly. It made Loki chuckle. When ocean blue eyes met the emerald gaze, the thunderer's face lit up from happiness. He reached out to caress Loki's cheek. His thumb touched soft lips, still aching from last night.  
"Good morning little brother." Thor murmured and blinked when one sunray fell on his face. He sat up.  
"Actually, it's almost evening." Loki pointed to the window.  
"Wow, well, we slept long." he said appreciatively. Loki's sly gaze fell on Thor's manly chest.  
"Are you surprised?" Loki stroked him from neck to his belly with his soft and smooth hand. Thor inhaled a little sharper and his gaze locked on the graceful marble hand. His younger brother smiled complacently, chuckled when he saw Thor responding to his touch and stood up from bed. His limbs ached pleasantly.  
Thor watched the other god's body in awe. Now, in light, he saw every perfect detail, every perfect folder and curve of Loki's slender figure. His milky skin calling him to taste and explore.  
"What are you staring at?" Loki smirked when he saw his brother's stunned gaze.  
"I just... yesterday I realized something and now, it's been confirmed." he stood up from bed.  
"And what was it?" Loki tilted his head aside, watching the nudity of mighty Thor who was walking to him charmingly.  
"That I can't get enough of you." he said and pulled Loki's hips to his. They felt the touch of their bare skin. Loki gasped and Thor took his face into his palms.  
"Loki," he spoke and kissed his forehead "...you are..." he kissed one cheek, "...so...", the other cheek, "...magnificent..." he brushed his lips against Loki's until Loki opened his mouth and put his tongue inside Thor's wet cavern.  
"Thor.." he panted.  
The God of thunder looked at his brother with an adorable smile. He turned and began to dress up himself.  
"I didn't have any nightmares." he winked at Thor.  
"You have enlightened me." he walked to the thunderer.  
"Thanks to you Thor," he stopped and waited until Thor was completely dressed, then looked into his bright blue eyes.  
"My dearest brother, thanks to you, there are no more shadows, no more ghosts." he took his strong hand. The older god was touched by Loki's confession.  
"Happy birthday, little brother." Thor smiled and hugged Loki, kissing his neck. The younger God blushed a little, rolling his eyes from pleasure.  
"I'm giving you all my love. Take it. It’s infinite..." he put Loki's hand on his chest where his heart was beating and smiled lovingly.  
"It beats only for you."  
Before Loki could melt into a puddle of love, there was knocking and they both looked at the doors. Loki began dressing himself immediately.  
"Loki? Have you seen Thor today? I can't find him. Are you alright, darling? You are in your bedroom all day. I would like to remind you that you are too old for your traditional birthday sulking." Frigga spoke to him through the door with her worried yet loving voice. Loki and Thor smiled.  
"I'm alright mother. Thor is here with me, I'm not sulking, don't worry... not this birthday." he added with a shy smile looking into blue eyes.  
"Oh, alright then. But don't come late to feast for your birthday." the queen said and left. Loki stepped to the door.  
"Shall we?" he tilted his head gracefully toward the door and Thor made a dismissive grimace.  
"Aren’t you hungry?" Loki marveled.  
"I am." Thor admitted and smirked slyly. "But I'm hungry for your body." he licked the corner of his mouth playfully and watched his brother greedily, making his slender body shiver with desire. He grinned shifty and walked to his older brother.  
"My dearest Thor. First we ha..." Loki rolled his eyes before they closed.Thor's scared face stared at his knees as they weakened and he was falling onto the floor, maybe with a too calm expression on his face considering how quickly he was falling. Thor catched him in the last moment and picked him into his arms.  
"Loki!" he whispered scared. He put him onto the bed and stroked his cheek before he rushed for his mother to call for help.

****************************************

There were snowflakes all around. Blue rocks stood everywhere. Angular and smooth, rocks of regular shapes and various hight. Loki had never seen rocks like those before. Well, he thought so. He stopped. Looking around the land, he realized that he recognized this place. It was familiar. He remembered this. Only thing which he didn't remember was the great gate at the end of the hallway. Wait, why was he suddenly standing in the hallway?  
He kept walking. On the other side of the hallway was a great hall. Grey veins crossed dark blue marble. The throne at the end of the hall was empty. It was then when Loki noticed he didn’t hear the sounds his steps should make. There was no echo.  
When he walked up the stairs to the throne and he sat on it without even thinking about what he was doing. He looked around, feeling the emptiness of the room. Suddenly, he heard the sound of shattering ice and he saw his hands changing into arms of an icy statue. Loki's body jerked up and in his head was a rough voice speaking to him: "You're home, prince."  
Loki took a deep breath and ice touched his face.

****************************************

Thor sat on green blankets, on the edge of bed, watching Loki's painful expression. The snow white face of the God of mischief frowned occasionally, occasionally it calmed down. Frigga walked around in nervous circles hugging her shoulders. She was thinking about something. Thunderer slightly gripped his brother's hand, embracing it with his own big paw.  
"I still can't believe that you didn't tell me anything!" Frigga said, frowning at the floor.  
The God of thunder didn't know this could be so serious. But it was. He could see it in gaze of the queen of Asgard. She didn't use to be angry.  
"I'm sorry mother... I didn't realize..." He looked down.  
"Each time when he had those dreams, you told me and the spell solved everything. Why did you thought this time it was going to pass?!" she fumed.  
"So use that spell now." Thor proposed.  
"I can't. I can't when he isn't awake." she explained and stroked her shoulder anxiously.  
"Is he hurt?" he asked, his thumb stroking the long fingers of his brother.  
"No..." she replied. "He is just sleeping." She smiled gently at her son for a moment.  
"B-but he’ll wake up, won't he?" Thor looked at his mother and she nodded.  
"Why are you so afraid, then?" he asked and Frigga looked away. She was quiet relesslently.  
Loki opened his green eyes and gasped.  
"Jotunheim!" he whispered . His eyes were running around the room as if he couldn't find out where he was.  
"Jotunheim..." he coughed and sat up. Thor began to stroke his back soothingly and squeezed his hand. He didn't noticed that Frigga put her hand on her mouth to hide her crying. She was trying to control her sobbing.  
"Loki!" Thor smiled with hope sparkling in his blue eyes. The younger god just stared at him exhaustingly.  
"Thor..." he whispered and reached out to stroke the golden mane of the thunder god. He smiled for a moment, then he just stared absently out of the window.  
"Mother! He woke up! You can use that spell now!" Thor cheered happily and looked at the queen, but as soon as he saw her, his face darkened with confusion. She turned away from them and just sobbed softly.  
"No." the queen said quietly and turned back to her sons slowly.  
"It's too late. The spell has been broken..." she gave Thor a gloomy gaze full of tears and the thunderer frowned and released Loki's hand.  
"What are you talking about?" he stood up and walked to her with a scared expression. Frigga looked away and watched Loki's tremulous breathing.  
"What spell?" Thor stepped close to her. His mother closed her eyes and hid her face in her hands for she fought with another wave of crying.  
"Come on, mother! What's going on? I don't understand! What spell?!" her older son grabbed her shoulder and made her look at him.  
"The spell which didn't allow him to remember. The spell with which I kept his memories in the mist, always when those dreams began to reveal his past. What he saw in them are his lost memories from childhood." Frigga's tears fell on her lilac dress. Thor couldn't believe it and stepped back from his mother. He almost stopped breathing.  
"He begins to remember? Remember what?" he asked more desperately than he actually wanted to.  
"Remember the truth. Remember his real memories. What happened before his sixth year." She looked down. Thor frowned, feeling hurt and deceived. He couldn't believe what his mother just said. Actually now he realized he didn’t remember Loki as he was a baby. He never saw him as a baby even though HE was the older brother. BROTHER...?  
"Loki isn't your brother, Thor." Tiny lips spoke to the God of thunder as kindly as possible. Thor inhaled sharply. There was a sharp dagger in his heart, tearing him apart. His little brother... was it just a lie?  
"He was born as Laufey's son, the prince of Jotunheim. But he was too small to be a heir of the frost giants. And after the war we entered an agreement with king Laufey. It was a agreement for stabilizing peace in our realms. Loki had no future in Jotunheim. He knew just mock and pain and even though Laufey loved him, he couldn't protect his son. So he came to us. Still as the prince, still as the son of the king. We connected our realms in peace."  
Thor couldn't help but cry. He wasn't sure what he felt in that moment. Poor Loki, his little brother. He would be his brother forever... And as much as bad this was, he was happy too. It meant their love wasn't forbidden.  
"So our realms got peace, Laufey had a good future for his son, Asgard got another prince, son and brother... And I love both of you equally because you both are my sons. You’ll always be." She smiled kindly at Thor.  
"Why didn't you tell me?.. tell us?"  
Frigga smiled soothingly and stroked her son's cheek. She wiped his tear off.  
"What would have been the purpose, my dear Thor? We didn't want you to make you feel different. We didn't want Loki to feel different." she explained and Thor smiled with her.  
"You know, now..," Frigga was looking behind Thor, scared to death and he turned to look there too.  
Loki was there. Standing next to the bed, clenching his hands into fists. His nails dug into his palms and lazy drops of blood dripped from there to the ground. Tears glistened on his face. He was trapped in a desperate spasm. His mouth was opened, he looked like he was trying to scream, but there wasn't even a sound. Emerald eyes captured his mother in a blaming gaze. Thor tried to get closer and step to him, his hand reaching after Loki. But it seemed that the God of mischief noticed just now that Thor was there too. He cried out and pushed Thor away. He ran out of the room and his escape was followed by Frigga's lament. Thor didn't care, he just ran madly after him to save his little brother.

***************************************************

"Did you find him?" Odin asked with worries, sitting at the table in the feasting hall where the celebration for Loki's birthday had already started.  
"No.." Thor looked down. The allfather looked at Frigga who sat beside him and took her hand, making her smile slightly. He sighed.  
"Where can he be?" He looked around the great hall.  
"I'm going to ask Heimdall. Maybe he will know." Thor stood up with sadness in his blue eyes and Odin nodded.

**************************************************

The thunderer walked through the Bifröst and watched edges of ocean flow down into the emptiness of universe. When he was close to the golden dome which opened portals into other realms of Yggdrasil, he stopped. He recognized Loki's figure sitting on the stairs of Heimdall's post from where the gatekeeper watched Yggdrasil. It was when a thought came to Thor's mind. Did the gatekeeper see their forbidden love? He didn't care, he sneaked close enough to hear their voices. Loki and Heimdall were looking into space, watching splendid nebulas.  
"... when you saw it?" Loki said.  
"Hmm.." Heimdall hummed and Thor was sure he smirked.  
"What did I think, prince Loki?" he asked merrily.  
"Don't call me prince. I'm not." Loki retorted, suddenly cold and angry. Heimdall looked at him with an amused smile.  
"Loki, the prince of Asgard," he emphasized, making Thor smile.  
"I didn't need you to think about something like that. Because for me, it’s very clear. The love prince Thor feels for you and you feel for him is alright. It is right. I see it. I see more than others. I know, this couldn't be any other way." the gatekeeper explained. Thor was shocked that he knew about it, but his attitude was soothed by his words.  
"So, you won't tell Odin?" Loki looked at him carefully.  
"No. I don't need to talk about it and he doesn't need to know. At least for now... I see your love in all its purity. I don't need to indicate you because it isn't sin to love someone." Heimdall said.  
"Yes... But now, everything has changed." Loki looked down grimly and the gatekeeper looked at him again.  
"No, prince Loki. The only thing that has changed is that you know the truth now. It's up to you what you will do with it. They knew the truth and loved you anyway. Will you love them too?" He put that question right into Loki's heart. Thor saw his brother hiding his face in his hands and Heimdall stared into space again.  
"I don't have anything more to say, but maybe you have prince Thor, don't you?" Heimdall smirked and looked back at the God of thunder who began to walk determinedly to his brother. Loki looked up sharply and turned to Thor, confused. As soon as he saw him, he ran directly into his arms and Thor opened them happily for him. Loki hugged him tightly, nuzzling against his chest and Thor stroked his black raven hair lovingly. The younger brother hid in Thor's safe embrace.  
"You still have my love, little brother." Thor squeezed him. It was an unbelievable warming feeling for Loki but subsequently he loathed to himself for touching Thor with these dirty Jotun hands. He released him.  
"Come, we are going home." Thor wrapped his arm around Loki's slim waist and walked back to the palace.  
"Goodbye Heimdall! And thank you!" Thor shouted to him and the gatekeeper nodded with smile.  
"It's not my home. It never was." Loki said suddenly when they were already in the middle of Bifröst and he couldn't be quiet anymore. Thor looked at him with a kind smile.  
"That's not true Loki. Remember what you used to say as a child." he said and Loki stared at him with tiny tears in his emerald eyes. He remembered. He remembered his own concept of home when he just had been a little child.  
"Where is your home Loki?" Thor smiled beautifully and the younger god stared into the oceans of the other man's eyes, thinking about all beautiful common memories. Real memories.  
"There, where Thor is." he answered in a whisper and Thor laughed happily, hugging his brother. He kissed him on his forehead.  
"Come, little brother." Thunderer said and led him back.  
To home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry it took so long to post second chapter but I had to find another beta


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